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Bad Internal Auditor Jokes

Blogs Mike Jacka, CIA, CPA, CPCU, CLU Apr 17, 2020

I can’t speak for you, but I know I’ve been locked up for way too long. And I think we can all use a good laugh, or at least a groan.

So, here is a collection of really bad internal auditor jokes. Be forewarned, I mean really bad. And, yes, I stole a lot of them. But when has an auditor ever done original work?

What do you call an auditor whose car breaks down halfway to the engagement?

A cab.

Which knight is used to help internal auditors gather data?

Sir Vey.

What do you call an auditor who points out the obvious?

An auditor who points out the obvious.

Why wasn’t the auditor allowed to participate in the railway station audit?

She was only there for training.

Why did the auditor request to do an audit of the mirror store?

It was something he could see himself doing.

Why was the auditor in such a hurry to provide results on the audit over the clock factory?

She wanted to get the report out on time.

Why do you never see auditors hiding in the CEO’s office?

Because they’re so good at it.

Auditor M completed an audit which included providing sufficient evidence that the body of water being used by auditee E to catch his daily meals actually existed. Why was M given a bonus?

M proved E fishing sea.

What did the musical auditor put on his out-of-office message?

Bach by noon. Offenbach sooner.

The auditor used the world’s worst thesaurus to finish his audit report:

Not only was it terrible, but it was terrible.

Why did it take the internal auditor so long to finish the inventory count at the fish market?

He thought he lost a fish, but then he flounder.

There are three types of internal auditors:

Those who are good at critical thinking and those that aren’t.

What did the auditor who was afraid of elevators do?

She took steps to avoid them.

Two auditors were reviewing expenses related to clown training.

One looked at the other and asked, “Does something look funny to you?”

What do you get when an auditor asks a rhetorical question?

Please share your own excruciatingly painful internal audit jokes. And a final warning: My first draft of these jokes had over three pages. That means I have a lot of bad jokes. And I know how to misuse them.

Mike Jacka, CIA, CPA, CPCU, CLU

Co-founder and Chief Creative Pilot, Flying Pig Audit, Consulting, and Training Services (FPACTS), based in Phoenix.